Out of control

I never could embrace chaos. 🌪

“Control freak.” What a phrase.

I think the freaks are those who swim face up in the currents of the unknown, never knowing when their head will bump into the wall of catastrophe.

Really, we’re all freaks.

And we’re all lacking significant control for the most part.

For me, this manifests in many ways.

Some are not useful to discuss.

Some certainly do NOT make me proud.

But one way I (eventually) recognize that I am not in control is through the feeling of:

O V E R W H E L M.

Overwhelm makes me manic, edgy, terrified, and lonely.

Sometimes overwhelm gets me choked up at that Katy Perry song about teenage jeans or something. 🧀💀

Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed because so many things are out of my control. (See pandemic. See parenting. See other people.)

What’s the solution?

There’s no solution.

There are tools I use that I’m sure you’ve heard of.

- Journaling

- Deep breathing

- Exercise

- Bloopers

- More bloopers

But what I really want to say is that there is no solution.

There are so many SO MANY things out of our control.

Sometimes you just have to put shitty music on and let the time pass.

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