“What kind of man are you going to be when you grow up?” “What do you want me to be?” Agnes thought for a moment. “Peaceful.” She pushed at his wet hair again. “Less worried-looking.”

From Douglas Stuart's brutal heartbreak of a first novel, Shuggie Bain

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I watched two tv shows about our food system and now I'm throwing out my ice cream, terrified of romaine, and maybe vegan? 2024 is bound to be great.

The hits seem to keep coming in these here roaring twenties and though I do love a cheeky in/out list or vapid explainer articles about why we Americans are so fucking terrible I instead have something else for you.

Because, dear reader, I want to be a better gift giver this year. That's my hokey New Year's resolution.

Quick aside—in music, a "resolution" moves a dischord (irksome feeling) into a concord (more like a good exhale) thus resolving tension. Here's to tension resolving anywhere and everywhere. Please.

So here, I give to you, a list of things that are great that you maybe forgot about or didn't know about yet.

• A mushroom nightlight in the bathroom

• Frankincense

• America (the band)

• A mushroom nightlight in the bedroom

• Soup

• Trivia

• Hospital socks

• A good, inky but not bleedy pen

• Sauerkraut

What did I miss?

Don't forget the seat warmer!!!